Over a year ago my partner and I were so nervous for
our son who was entering Kindergarten at our zoned public school.
We mainly had the same fears as any other parent. Would our son
make friends? Would our son be successful in school? And most of
all how would I spend my day now that our son was in school? As a
stay at home mom I was so sad to see our son growing up and it was
so hard letting him go.
We never had any apprehensions about being out. How
could we teach our son to be proud of his family if we were not
out? But, living in a small, Southern town with many other gay
families living in the closet, we felt it was important to prepare
our son for those families who may not like us. So, through the
years as appropriate moments arose, we tried to prepare our
son.
As each day passed our fears for our son’s school
career lessened. He made friends and all of the teachers seemed to
know and love him. A few teachers even developed a special
connection with our son. One teacher in particular would take time
to whisper in our son’s ear, “You are so special because you have
two moms.” Even when they did family trees at school did the
teachers make a point to ask us what our son calls us so they could
write it correctly.
Our son is now in first grade and in his second year at
this school. Recently, he came home from school and asked,”Why are
you and Mom so worried about kids not liking me because I have two
moms? None of my friends care. And if someone did, you know it’s
not their fault. It was only how they were taught by their
parents.” Then our son said to me,”Momma, just make friends with
the parents and show them we are just like every other family. We
just have two moms, a kid, 3 cats and two dogs. See, no
different.”
At that moment I realized it will be our son who
teaches my partner and I about living life as a family with two
moms. We need to trust him and follow his lead. After all we were
raised by straight parents and can only make assumptions as to our
son’s experiences. Our son knows no other life. His norm is having
two moms. It doesn’t matter to our son whether he’s in the
minority. To him it’s irrelevant. What matters to him is that his
two moms are there for him to love him and tuck him safely into bed
each night. What parent could ever ask for more?